Mom,
God has revealed to my heart a little while back something that He wanted me to share with you, a revelation of what He had planned for me. I’m sorry that it has taken me this long to say it, but as you can understand, “swallowing one’s pride is never fun nor is it easy.” I pray that you don’t mind me sharing this publicly, but it’s a humbling moment for me that I feel others would benefit from hearing.
Growing up, I was always the helper, the “little mommy,” and the one left in charge not just to Brett and Josh, but to some of my cousins as well. Although I loved children and babies, I grew to resent the fact that it was always me who had to babysit or help with the children, always me who was left in charge. This led to me never wanting children of my own. In my mind, “I had helped to raise enough of them already.”
I believe that part of the resentment I felt with regards to that situation was what led me to move out so quickly, carry on my own life and to be the only one to control me. I honestly have to laugh sometimes about what God could’ve been thinking when He allowed me to control my own life. Boy did He have a few surprises in store for me when He felt that I had had enough. I went from being under your control to being under mine, and then God said, “That’s enough, I’m taking over now.”
When God revealed to me that it was His plan for me to be the helper, not just you making me do it, the resentment I felt was unwarranted and needed to be released. As a daughter of the Almighty, I have been called to be a helper, not just to my family, but to the body of Christ. So, I guess what I am trying to say is, “I am sorry, mom, for the resentment and anger that I held against you for so many years!” I realize now, looking back, that God was preparing me and that you were His helper in that training process. Thank you for doing your part! You did a great job with me, even if I do say so myself.
Not to mention, I was more than prepared to care for my own child, Alyssa, when the time came for her to grace us with her presence. Thanks for the preparation and the ongoing help.
I love you, Mom!
XOXOXO,
Gail
God has revealed to my heart a little while back something that He wanted me to share with you, a revelation of what He had planned for me. I’m sorry that it has taken me this long to say it, but as you can understand, “swallowing one’s pride is never fun nor is it easy.” I pray that you don’t mind me sharing this publicly, but it’s a humbling moment for me that I feel others would benefit from hearing.
Growing up, I was always the helper, the “little mommy,” and the one left in charge not just to Brett and Josh, but to some of my cousins as well. Although I loved children and babies, I grew to resent the fact that it was always me who had to babysit or help with the children, always me who was left in charge. This led to me never wanting children of my own. In my mind, “I had helped to raise enough of them already.”
I believe that part of the resentment I felt with regards to that situation was what led me to move out so quickly, carry on my own life and to be the only one to control me. I honestly have to laugh sometimes about what God could’ve been thinking when He allowed me to control my own life. Boy did He have a few surprises in store for me when He felt that I had had enough. I went from being under your control to being under mine, and then God said, “That’s enough, I’m taking over now.”
When God revealed to me that it was His plan for me to be the helper, not just you making me do it, the resentment I felt was unwarranted and needed to be released. As a daughter of the Almighty, I have been called to be a helper, not just to my family, but to the body of Christ. So, I guess what I am trying to say is, “I am sorry, mom, for the resentment and anger that I held against you for so many years!” I realize now, looking back, that God was preparing me and that you were His helper in that training process. Thank you for doing your part! You did a great job with me, even if I do say so myself.
Not to mention, I was more than prepared to care for my own child, Alyssa, when the time came for her to grace us with her presence. Thanks for the preparation and the ongoing help.
I love you, Mom!
XOXOXO,
Gail
1 comment:
Wow, Gail. You're post was heartfelt! I felt the power of those chains break! And afterwards the angels rejoicing in song! I'm just so proud of you - just so happy for you! I love you, sister!
Nanette
Post a Comment